Listen to Your Instructor: The Fun of Beer Fines in Scuba Diving
If you’ve taken a PADI Open Water Course, you’ve probably heard about beer fines. These are humorous penalties given to divers who make avoidable mistakes, despite having been taught the correct procedures. While generally preceded by a warning, some errors are so classic that they go straight to a beer fine. Here are ten ways you can earn one of these infamous fines:
1. Mask on Your Forehead
This is the quintessential beer fine, dating back to PADI’s early days in 1966. Wearing your mask on your forehead is a no-no, as it signals distress. If you need more explanation beyond the risk of losing the dive shop’s rental mask, expect another fine.
2. Incorrect Basic Terminology
After completing your PADI Open Water Course, which includes five hours of videos and nearly 200 questions, you should know the correct terminology. Referring to your mask as goggles, fins as flippers, tank as a bottle, or regulator as a respirator is a sure way to earn a fine. Even after seven hours of theory, your instructor might still give you a warning but don’t count on it. Better start preparing your Singha beer!
3. Leaving Your Tank Standing Up
Some lessons in life are best learned the hard way. You never realize how painful it can be until a tank falls on your bare foot. While a beer fine is lenient, a nudge of the tank as a reminder is considered too old-school. Expect one beer fine for leaving the tank upright and a six-pack if it tips over.
4. Thumbs Up Instead of an OK Signal
Giving a thumbs-up instead of the OK signal is another classic mistake. The thumb-and-forefinger circle is universally accepted as “OK” in diving, yet many still default to a thumbs-up, which means “ascend.” Expect one beer fine for one thumb and two beers for a double thumbs-up.
5. No Weight Belt or Air After a Buddy Check
Remember BWRAF? Your instructor went over this checklist repeatedly, even using funny acronyms to help you remember. Yet, if you manage to enter the water without your weight belt or your air turned on, you owe a beer. If your instructor has to return to the boat to retrieve your weight belt, that’s another beer. However, if your instructor makes the same mistake, you’re entitled to beer fine credits!
6. Wearing Speedos
Unless you’re Hulk Hogan, wearing speedos, or “budgie smugglers,” is a surefire way to earn a fine. One beer per dive, and two if the speedos are white, skin-toned, or leopard-print.
7. Giant Stride Without Holding Mask or Weight Belt
Performing a giant stride into the water without securing your mask or weight belt will earn you a beer fine. Even if your belly flop or face plant into the water is amusing, fines are doubled if you lose the weight belt or mask.
8. Kicking Your Instructor with Your Fins
You were instructed to stay behind and above your instructor, making it nearly impossible to make contact. If you manage to kick your instructor, that’s one beer fine for body contact and two for a head-high hit.
9. Delaying a Dive by Slow Preparation
Instructors dislike waiting for slow divers. If you delay the dive, expect a beer fine. If your tardiness causes the group to miss seeing a major creature like a whale shark or manta ray, the fine doubles. Another fine is added if you complain about not having a full dive time.
10. Taking the Last Beer on the Boat
Snagging the last beer on the boat is an immediate fine. Unlike other fines, this one is enforced immediately, and the unopened beer should be handed to the instructor without hesitation. However, if the beer is warm, low alcohol, or made in New Zealand, the fine is void.
Beer fines are a lighthearted way to encourage divers to remember their training and respect the rules. Next time you’re diving, keep these in mind, and you might just avoid a round at the bar!
